Saturday, July 30, 2005

Organized Chaos, or One Hand Clapping, or Mangina.

My band played it's first show tonight, and I am going to run down a list of the positives I have noted.
1. We were all sober.
2. We played 3 out of seven songs passibly.
3. Me and the singer were laughing so hard by the middle of the show, I think may have wet myself.
4. I got to wear my "I have the biggest dick in the band" t-shirt.
5. No fewer than three lovely women asked me to prove it.
6. We know what we have to work on, and to put it simply that's everything.
7. We play exactly how we practice...only without all that timing and rhythm interupting us.
8. Our equipment fits in a teeny-tiny pickup truck.
9. People were visibly impressed by my bass solo in the set.
10. We had FUN!

A handsome devil.

Here I am on my 31st b-day, my sis bought me a cake. Even though I said I didn't want to do anything. I was wrong, and I aprecciated it more than she could ever know.

On another note, I think I look darn good in this picture.....hell, I'd do me.

This my little sister who has spent the last month making my life so much better than it has been for a while. This is before she got her hair cut and dyed,, I will post another one with her new "fab" look. We just dropped her off at the airport, and I miss her terribly already. She is a good kid, and is definately going places in life...even if she does like weirder music than me, and wears too much eye makeup.
Looky Here!

Friday, July 15, 2005

The internet is yet another place non-conformists can conform.

Have you ever noticed how, when people claim to be a non-conformist, they tend to look, act, and otherwise BE just like all the other non-conformists. This is especially true in teenagers. I went to this really strange web site called "Makeout Club" or something, and it seemed like out of the ten bajillion people there, 9.9 bajillion were different. Just. Like. All. The Other. Different. People.

I have always had a rebellious streak in me, it's part of my being. I tend to skate the edge of what is acceptable. I don't generally tell everyone about it. I don't brag about how "obscure" the music I listen to is. I don't talk about fucked up places I have ended up in the endless search I used to have for "fun". I don't think I am in any way cool, hip, "with it" or whatever. I think that's why this site bugged me. It was like a gathering place for posers. It is everything I used to hate about the music "scene" I used to be in, the people I used to call friends (other than my ACTUAL friends), and the girls I used to date.

It's like, through their eternal struggle to be more different, they become more alike. If you want an example of this herd mentality, ask fifty non-conformists what they think of conservatives. I am willing to bet you get at least forty answers that are so similar they could have come out of the same news article. And the best part is, none of it will be based on anything they actually read for themselves. (Other than whatever magazine they all tried to quote.)

So the point here is, take your non-conformity, and shove it up your ass. I'm going to go drink some eXpresso, eat meat, and play top forty music.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

if i were a female stripper or a crossdresser

Your Stripper Info by radioface
first name
Stripper Name:Shaniqua
Specialty:facial expressions
Customers say:"Can legs DO that??"
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

My Dad.

I posted about my Father going into the hospital on July 3rd. Things are steadily getting worse, and nobody knows exactly what is wrong with him. I have my suspicions, but i will keep them to myself. Tomorrow, he will probably have a feeding tube implanted in his stomach, because he can't eat or drink without apirating it. They pumped "fluid" out of his lungs, and mostly it was food, and meds he had breathed into them.
When he went into the hospital this time, I told everyone I thought this was it. And I still do. I don't think he will be coming home this time. O love my Dad, but he suffers so much every day, that I don't know if we should take "heroic" measures to keep him alive when his heart inevitably stops. I just don't know. Is it selfish of me to want to keep him around? Am I thinking only of my own emotional pain, and loss? The only answer I have right now is to keep praying, and to hope he doesn't have to hurt anymore.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Fuck...I'm old

Hello loyal fans, this is littlejoe with some breaking news. In 2 minutes, I will be thirty-one. Fuck I'm old.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Man, I REALLY should quit smoking, or my shit will become fucked up. I don't want fucked up shit.
Looky Here!

Monday, July 04, 2005

July third...and why my problems just aren't that bad.

I posted earlier about having a hard time with this day...sort of anyway. Well, my petty little emotional shit is nothing. NOTHING. My Dad had to go the hospital today, he has pnuemonia again, caused by the MRSA. He is in intensive care, and hooked up to a machine to breathe for him. What makes this even more sad though, is that this had to happen on my Mom's I said, fucking July fucking third man.

The tree of life, Celtic inspired, native drawn. This is by FAR my favorite tattoo to date.
Looky Here!

Look! A savage flesh eating giant! Or, littlejoe @the mom's b-day party.
Looky Here!

Sunday, July 03, 2005

I Always Ask Myself. :A poem by littlejoe.

Am I smiling? Take a good look,
do the tears taste like tears of joy?

Are you happy with the mess I am? Is superiority,
so important? That you laugh inside...

...hurts more than you can know. One of these days,
the fickle finger of fate is going to fuck you too.

Just look deeper into the shell of a soul,
you'll see my reflection smiling back at you.

It wants to be happy.
It would like to breathe.
Why do you keep it trapped like an untrustworthy animal?

My answers are never forthcoming, the answers
always just out of reach.

Life, or something resembling it, has happened to me...
...and I never did respond.

Fucking July fucking third.

You know, I used to think it was cool that July third was my ex and I's first date "anniversary". We would get together with my family, usually go swimming or something...I dunno, it was nice. Now, I really wish it was a date I could just blow off, or forget about it until it was past or something. But, I can' see July third is also my Mom's birthday. The woman who adopted me when I was taken away by the gubment from my birth mother. The woman who smacked the shit out of me when I needed to learn a lesson. The woman who has been there for me through everything I have EVER gone through. Only I would be stuck with a fucking date I can't forget.

I've got MAD skills in the irony department yo.

So today, I am going to go swimming, and probably eat a bunch of food...and put on my happy face because mom deserves a nice birthday. But all I really want to do is curl up in a ball and be left alone....

Friday, July 01, 2005

Ding Doo WAH!

Complete sincerity: You believe in being
straightforward with others, and you expect the
same from them. People would consider you a
good listener, and one who is calm and mostly

Which Characteristic From the Samurai Code Matches You Best? (You may find out your best trait)
brought to you by Quizilla