Thursday, September 09, 2004

I will now attempt to define the word "FACT".

Fact, it seems so simple does it not? A fact is something that irrefutibly happened.

However, I have noticed that certain people, mainly left-wing authors, and news casters are redefining fact. I will now attempt to lay out the two definitions.

Fact, definition one:

Anything you hear that sounds like it might make someone you don't like or approve of sound bad.

Some little-known lefty facts:

  1. George Bush used cocaine at camp David in the eighties.
  2. Zell Miller was drugged during his keynote speech during the RNC, he is also in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease.
  3. Barbara Bush is nearly a practicing witch, and sometimes casts bad mojo at her son's political opponents.
  4. The ACLU has the best interests of America at heart, but the NRA is an evil fascist political machine.
  5. The middle-east would be fine, and all would be peaceful if it weren't for those uppity jews trying to live there.
  6. Islam is a peaceful religion, it's the Christians of the world with their traditional values that cause all the trouble.
  7. Only the democratic party cares about art, equality, or diversity. They prove it by trying to legislate middle-class white men out of the picture.
  8. Bill Clinton is a hero because he dodged the draft, Dick Cheney is a coward for getting deferments.
  9. Freedom of speech is great! Especially once we shut those people up who think that they have a right to speak their minds.
  10. A gun in the hands of a law abiding citizen is far too dangerous. People could get shot, I mean, if people shot criminals it would be like having the death penalty!
  11. The death penalty should be deemed unconstitutional.

Definition Two:

Something that happened.

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