Wednesday, August 11, 2004

The new orgy....for the sexually repressed, or incapable.

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- It's not about sex and all about the touchy-feely
experience of snuggling up to perfect strangers wearing pajamas.
The grab
fests are called cuddle parties, and since they started in New York in
hundreds of people have paid $30 each to touch and embrace others
in intimate
Everyone needs to be cuddled, especially in
lonely New York, say
creators Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski, who say
it's a good way to meet new
and interesting people.
But the rules are
clear. The PJs stay on the whole
In case things get too steamy, a
small chime is kept on hand. Before
the cuddling begins, the chime is struck
several times so everyone gets the
"We've never used it," said
Mihalko, who said sexual arousal does
The idea for cuddle parties
loosely came about after Mihalko, a
14-year masseur, began giving massages
to other masseurs who never got the
chance to receive them.
Signs that
people need to be touched were brought
home one day when Mihalko said he
noticed a woman bawling from the emotional
release that a massage provided
her at an outdoor stand in midtown
"It started out as a joke,"
Baczynski said. "Now we talk about
cuddling all the time. It's just been
Curiosity is a big driver for
people who attend cuddle parties,
and it is a better way to meet people than
going to a bar, getting drunk and
spending the night with someone just because
of the need for some affection,
she said.
A cuddle party is really about
communication and not therapy,
say the organizers.
Before any touching
begins, participants gather in a
circle to hear the rules and voice any
questions or concerns. The first rule
is that the event is not clothing
optional, pajamas must stay on and sex is
not permitted.
Participants team up
into pairs, and to ensure the
boundaries of what is permissible are clear, they
practice saying "no" to
the question, "May I kiss you?"
An introduction to
cuddling ensues, first
by hugging three people. People then get in a circle on
their hands and
knees, rub shoulders and moo like cows. After a bit of swaying,
falls to their side, which puts them into an easy cuddling
Cuddle parties are intended for people who are emotionally
People in therapy or who are seeing a mental health professional are
asked to
consult their doctor before signing up for a party and to tell
organizers of
their situation.
One group on an overcast Sunday drew a mix
of mostly single
people in their 30s and a smattering of older people.
repeat customer who
called herself a born-again Christian said it was good
to cuddle up to another
person, albeit a perfect stranger, after a hectic
"I felt good. I had a
particularly stressful week," said the woman,
who did not wish to be
Friends had warned her that the parties
would be nothing more than
thinly disguised preludes to sex, but she
dismissed those worries as alarmist
and unfounded, saying, "It's not about
Like others, the chance to meet
someone was a consideration in
attending a cuddle party.
"People in a way are
looking for a connection,"
Fernando said. "It's weird, but not unusual."
man named Dwayne H., who
described himself as introverted, said he thought the
parties would help him
relax before strangers and help him express his
"I have a
problem showing emotion," he said.

If this doesn't just beat all. "Everyone needs to be cuddled", my ass. "We've never used it" (the anti-sex chime), probably because nobody there has balls. I mean, this is basically lesbian sex without all the licking.

This my friends, is the worst idea ever. It's like asking,

"Hey, could you give me blue balls please?"

I wonder if they're liberals. Corkscrew says yes, yes they are. Filthy, treehugging, hippy-liberals. The worst kind.

How much of a fucking loser do you have to be to go to this event? Does it not occur to these people that they are paying for...what? not sex...not any real experience....just some grope fest? It would be sad if I didn't find it so funny.


At 11/8/04 8:57 PM, Blogger Boudicca said...

"Hey, could you give me blue balls please?" - LOL!

That was great!

At 12/8/04 12:32 AM, Blogger That 1 Guy said...

LOL Damn! Boudicca beat me to it!

At 12/8/04 12:02 PM, Blogger Graumagus said...

Hmmm you see a thing to be ridiculed, I see an opportunity to fuck with people. I'd like to show up at one of these parties after one of the living history events where we smell like campfire funk and ass, wearing the old style red wool longjohns (unwashed for several days of course) with the crap flap in the back (preferably missing a button for that "half moon" effect). Walk around mumbling like Milton from the movie "Office Space"..
"I want.. to cuddle.. too.. why doesn't anyone cuddlewithmeIliketocuddletoo... I can burn down the building..."

At 13/8/04 12:00 AM, Blogger Anathematized1 said...

Gawd, I'm going to have nightmares tonight: Grau acting like Milton in that getup but as "Buck Tooth Billy"...EEPERS!! *can hear the deliverance theme playing in her head*

At 19/10/05 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

heh cool blog you have here!

I noticed you have a nice blog, read all of your links kept me interested for a good time! well done :)

Thanks for a good read instead of some of the other stuff people post here!


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