Monday, August 02, 2004

My new and improved political movement.

I tend to spout off about politics here at the soapbox quite a bit. I would like to point out that I intentionally don't list my sources. I don't care if a story is fact or fiction, or some mixture. I will form a snap judgment, and stick with it. I will play off rumors as facts. I don't care.

I call this "Fuck It" politics.

If I really wanted to be reputable, and a source of GOOD information, I wouldn't be doing this in the format I have chosen. I would write editorials for the paper or some shit.
I routinely feed you my opinion as fact, and don't care if it's ridiculous. I do however have sources that I would like to list. These are VERY reputable people, and organizations that not only provide good information, but add flavor to otherwise bland stories. I don't list them usually, because they don't check in here often, but I do thank them for their contributions.

Without further ado, my sources:
Jesus (not JESUS but hay zues): A Mexican guy up the street, who loves being in this country. He works full time at three jobs, doesn't pay taxes, and wonders why the government funds his kids education and healthcare.

Mohammed Al-Zarib Jalala Johnson: The black extremist Muslim who lives near my parents house. He hates whitey, and doesn't have a job. He blames the "Man" for holding him and his brothers down. He has a court appearance next Thursday for his eight drug offense, but the courts think they might look racist if they jail him.

Corkscrew: A member of my illustrious staff here at the soapbox. She thinks I am far too liberal. She is also my pet cat. She would ask that any contributions to this site be made in canned salmon.

Gekkak: Would be world conqueror, and sleeper under bridges.

The fine people at Without them, how could I laugh? They offer a valuable insight into the minds of morons. They let me know that George Bush is very much like Hitler, and that John Kerry is the second coming.

Vern: Gekkak's assistant, and lover of all things garbage related. He once made a car that would run on toenail clippings out of a cardboard drink-box, and some twine.

Last but not least...

Tylor: My brother and bud, who keeps me on my toes with politicians. He likes to remind me that they all want my money, I like to remind him that the Dems want more of it.

Thank you for your support, and keep the salmon coming.


At 3/8/04 3:41 AM, Blogger Graumagus said...

You forgot Hillary Clinton, who not only wants your money, but wants to eat the flesh of your newborn children (remember, snap judgements, don't turn back heheh)

At 3/8/04 12:37 PM, Blogger littlejoe said...

She will only eat the flesh of your children if they are grazers, and if it will benefit the "common good". She has a special place reserved in my vision of hell, just for trying to tell me that the government deserves my (not so) hard earned money more than I do.


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