Tuesday, November 16, 2004

NSFW...or for the general public

After losing my kitten this week, I have come to two decisions. Number one is, I am never again holding a small animal, child, or anything fragile. Number two is, FUCK GOD.

Yep, you read that right, fuck him. I am sick of being sick, I am sick of getting the proverbial kick in the sack every time things start to pick up a little bit. I have often heard that god doesn't cause suffering, and that everything god does is good. That sounds like a bunch of fucking shit to me, it's an obvious copout by those who can't explain how bad things happen if god loves us so motherfucking much. It hurts me to write this, I have attributed alot of wonderful things in my life to god. It seems that I have given credit to the wrong being. I should be giving credit to myself, and random fucking fate, if to anything at all.

When I see the hurt in my wife's eyes when we mention little Harley, it is only confirmation that god is not a benevolent overseer, nor is he even an uninvolved creator. No. God is a masochistic son of a bitch who wants us to suffer for his amusement. Why else would the worst people get all the breaks? Not that I am a great person mind you, I have been a shit head in my life, but fuck man, could I get a break please from the constant string of hardships?

I know reading this, I am sitting quite firmly on my pity pot, but you know what? Maybe I deserve a little self pity. Nothing else seems to help my situation at all. Blind faith in a benevolent deity hasn't helped much, prayer is nothing but a practice in talking to yourself.

One day, I may have to eat these words, but today I can't see it happening. I can't see me suddenly having an epiphany and thinking "Hey, that God guy is pretty cool." So, I am done with god, I am through giving god credit for the good things, and a pass on the bad.


Littlejoe

6 Comments:

At 16/11/04 9:36 PM, Blogger Graumagus said...

I can't do much in the taking away sickness department, but you know that if you need a shoulder to cry on or a backboard to scream at, I got your back bro.

 
At 19/11/04 9:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boohooyou got it bad .a wife who loves you a house to live in people who care about you...yea God has surely damned you fuck god...yea wanna trade?

 
At 21/11/04 4:22 PM, Blogger Wes said...

Joe, if you need to talk, please, let me know. I'm here for you, dude, and apparently, a lot closer geographically now. :-)

Seriously though, give me a call if/when you need anything.

Wes

 
At 24/11/04 1:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know I just had a thought...
I remember there was a scare a while back with the wife that basically revolved around how long she might get to spend on this earth... and I also remember you making a deal with God in exchange for that not happening.
I wonder if it's possible that God "upped the ante" a bit on that deal, and he decided "Fine, I'll take that deal.. the wife can stay, but I need a little more from you than just sobriety."
I'm just sayin... if you look at it that way, maybe it wasn't that bad of a deal after all?
And if everything was the result of a sort of "psuedo-miracle," maybe that would explain why doctors have been so clueless about your condition?
Hmmm... anyway, just a thought/angle that struck me that I thought I'd throw in your direction...

-S

 
At 8/12/04 5:00 AM, Blogger Octavo said...

Oh come on -S! "God saves wife, but kills kitten", I can see the headlines now.

Your logic is that of a preschooler. If there really is a supreme being do you honestly believe that s/he would think, "Ok, I'll agree to save the wife... hmmm, but this kitty needs to die in return."

Why do humans feel this incredible urge to blame everything (good and bad) on some giant beard in the sky? Why can they not accept, that maybe, just maybe stuff happens on its own. That free will is a real concept and that there is no "big plan".

 
At 12/12/04 5:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Octavo - FYI the post by S is not about "wife's life for kitten" and I think it was pretty idiotic that you would say that. There's a lot more to it that you don't understand, and perhaps you need to re-read it. Wash the glasses off dude.

KTreva

 

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