NSFW...or for the general public
After losing my kitten this week, I have come to two decisions. Number one is, I am never again holding a small animal, child, or anything fragile. Number two is, FUCK GOD.
Yep, you read that right, fuck him. I am sick of being sick, I am sick of getting the proverbial kick in the sack every time things start to pick up a little bit. I have often heard that god doesn't cause suffering, and that everything god does is good. That sounds like a bunch of fucking shit to me, it's an obvious copout by those who can't explain how bad things happen if god loves us so motherfucking much. It hurts me to write this, I have attributed alot of wonderful things in my life to god. It seems that I have given credit to the wrong being. I should be giving credit to myself, and random fucking fate, if to anything at all.
When I see the hurt in my wife's eyes when we mention little Harley, it is only confirmation that god is not a benevolent overseer, nor is he even an uninvolved creator. No. God is a masochistic son of a bitch who wants us to suffer for his amusement. Why else would the worst people get all the breaks? Not that I am a great person mind you, I have been a shit head in my life, but fuck man, could I get a break please from the constant string of hardships?
I know reading this, I am sitting quite firmly on my pity pot, but you know what? Maybe I deserve a little self pity. Nothing else seems to help my situation at all. Blind faith in a benevolent deity hasn't helped much, prayer is nothing but a practice in talking to yourself.
One day, I may have to eat these words, but today I can't see it happening. I can't see me suddenly having an epiphany and thinking "Hey, that God guy is pretty cool." So, I am done with god, I am through giving god credit for the good things, and a pass on the bad.
Littlejoe
3 Comments:
boohooyou got it bad .a wife who loves you a house to live in people who care about you...yea God has surely damned you fuck god...yea wanna trade?
You know I just had a thought...
I remember there was a scare a while back with the wife that basically revolved around how long she might get to spend on this earth... and I also remember you making a deal with God in exchange for that not happening.
I wonder if it's possible that God "upped the ante" a bit on that deal, and he decided "Fine, I'll take that deal.. the wife can stay, but I need a little more from you than just sobriety."
I'm just sayin... if you look at it that way, maybe it wasn't that bad of a deal after all?
And if everything was the result of a sort of "psuedo-miracle," maybe that would explain why doctors have been so clueless about your condition?
Hmmm... anyway, just a thought/angle that struck me that I thought I'd throw in your direction...
-S
Octavo - FYI the post by S is not about "wife's life for kitten" and I think it was pretty idiotic that you would say that. There's a lot more to it that you don't understand, and perhaps you need to re-read it. Wash the glasses off dude.
KTreva
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