Barbara STreisands Top Ten reasons for a Bus reelection.

10. Exit polls show that Elves went big for Nader (Alex)

9. Bush's Flying Monkeys surpisingly effective at getting out the vote (suggested by Frank Villon)

8. One word: Cheneymania (Senator PhilABuster)

7. Damn Republicans kept making their saving throws against Media Bias(Blacknimbus, Jimmie, Bbeck were all on the same track)

6. In the house of R'yleh, Dead Cthulhu lies sleeping, except when he mans the phones for the Iowa Republican Party (Jimmie)

5. James Carville, busy with his Crossfire gig, couldn't get down to the bayou and work a little cornpone voodoo (BlueDevils)

4. JoBu did not answer our chickenbone prayer. Fuck JoBu. (RD Brewer)

3. Stupid American voters couldn't grasp the subtle political arguments contained in Papa, Can You Hear Me? (suggested by Alex)

2. Opening speakers of Republican convention -- Smurf-Archenemy Gargamel and Pinhead from Hellraiser -- really "connected" with public (Ace)

... and the Number One Barbra Streisand Explanation for Kerry's Loss...

1. Public simply had no confidence in Kerry's constantly-evolving, multiple-position nuance; in D&D terms, they decided to stick with the +3 Holy Avenger that is George Bush, rather than the Dick of Many Things that is John Kerry* (Ace)

I love a good D&D reference.