Sunday, September 12, 2004

P.C. Lexicon

Found this surfing the web, thought I would share. Oh, and please add to it, as I think it is sort of outdated.
P.C. Lexicon Should Come In Handy

English is a living language, always changing under the pressure of euphemism and verbal politics. Here are some translations for the modern reader:

activity intolerance: lower back pain
transitional assistance: welfare
after-sales services: kickbacks
involuntary administrative segregation: solitary confinement
three-day wait for a gun: regulation
one-day wait for an abortion: restriction
communications strategist: public relations person
creative response conceptions: PR
tug of peace: tug of war conducted by sensitive people
content providers: writers
compound: the home and property of someone reporters consider an extremist. (Thanks to Michelle Malkin.)
wedgislation: proposed law not intended to be passed or even seriously debated, but introduced solely to embarass the opposition. (William Saletan of Slate.)
not multicultural enough: white (For instance: "Many classes are no longer reading 'Catcher in the Rye' because the central character, Holden Caufield, isn't multicultural enough.")
sporadic protests and vandalism: a race riot, as reported by The New York Times
disturbances: race riots, second-day reference in the Times
special interests: your opponent's supporters
public-spirited citizens: your supporters
concerned Americans from around this great country: your non-local supporters
outside agitators: your opponent's non-local supporters
non-traditional sex: perversion
sex worker: prostitute, stripper, porn actor
false consciousness: she still loves her husband
leather community: sadomasochists
solo sexual activity, sex for one: masturbation
narratized sexual harassment: off-color joke
uncoerced sex: rare or obsolescent form of campus sexuality. "Many women like uncoerced sex," said Kathryn Abrams, Boston University law professor.
gender illusionist: cross-dresser, person in drag
intergenerational intimacy: pedophilia, statutory rape
homophobia: disagreement with the demands, tactics or manners of any gay activist
activist volunteering: new radical feminist term for a mother's kidnapping of her child after the courts have given custody to the father (thanks to Cathy Young)
paleoliberals: people of the left who have the exact same opinions they had in 1952. (Thanks to Mickey Kaus.)
grandparent clock: grandfather clock
foreparents: forefathers
underrepresented: we need quotas
should look like America: we need quotas
numerical goals and timetables: quotas
race-sensitive programs: quotas
fair group representation: quotas
employment equity: quotas
equitable distribution of available resources: quotas
should receive euthanasia: should be killed
advocacy scholarship: politicized teaching, classroom propaganda
sensitivity training: indoctrination
freshman orientation: indoctrination
multicultural issues editor (of a college paper): censor
post-colonial people: non-whites
people who never suffered colonialism: whites
undocumented workers: illegal aliens
beings: replaces "human beings." Removal of the word "human," with its warm and positive overtone, verbally sets the stage for the killing of infants and incapacitated oldsters, while at the same time making animals the equals of humans. (Thanks to Wesley Smith.)
monocultural: white
emotional battering: domestic quarrel
economic censorship: no grant this year from the National Endowment for the Arts
emotional violence: criticism
violence of the tongue: criticism
verbal abuse: any joke or remark you don't like
evolutionary fur: fake fur
strict constructionists: judges who follow the law and precedent instead of just voting their political opinions
in-plant feeding facility: cafeteria
moderate Republican: liberal
reactionary right-wing Republican: conservative
deaccession: censor, destroy. "Many people believe the mural of Indians scalping while settlers should be deaccessioned for reasons of sensitivity."
suffragist: retro term for suffragette
gaming: gambling
after-death care: cremation
virtuecrat: Bill Bennett
unwanted sex: either rape or consensual sex regretted the next morning
visual rape: staring, ogling
mental rape: pleading for sex
symbolic rape: criticism
seared, mutilated animal flesh: hamburger
procedure: abortion
choice: abortion
anti-choice: anti-abortion
selective reduction: abortion
effecting fetal demise: abortion
exercise of a woman's right: abortion
pregnancy-related services: abortion
late-term abortion: partial-birth abortion
reproductive health community: abortion lobby
inappropriate: crooked, totally immoral
backlash: resistance to your ideas
organized religion: an outdated and prepackaged faith; any form of spirituality not invented recently by you or your friends, or not seen recently on "Oprah"
cult: any small religion disapproved of by three or more journalists

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