Friday, July 23, 2004

I am coming out of the closet...Join me.

I am rapidly becoming sick of the phrase "coming out". Why is it that gay people (including all the other fucking deviants) feel the need to flaunt their sexual preference. In my opinion this is nothing more than sanctioned sexual harassment. I am proposing that my readers....all six or seven of you, along with my illustrious staff, (which includes my cat Corkscrew, and...well...myself) get the word out about my novel new idea.

Straight pride month. I propose that we come up with a month that would be appropriate, and get a permit to hold a parade during that month. That we send out E-mails, and fliers, and promote our Straight Pride. We of course need a symbol, and I am working on it. Since the "glbt" brigade has stolen the rainbow, we need something equally universal in it's appeal.

All I ask is that we come up with a month, and maybe a few special theme days, and then spread the word. Of course, we will be looked upon as some sort of bigoted, or "racist" bastards. (Even though GAY IS NOT A RACE) We must stand up in the face of such denouncement, and promote our belief that being straight is fun, and perfectly acceptable. We should definitely wear ribbons, and proudly explain their significance when asked.

If you are reading this and think "What a bigoted racist bastard!" you probably got the link to my site from somewhere other than my word of mouth, and should probably just leave. I will only offend you further the more you read my posts.

So please, all of my straight, and even my sympathetic gay readers, help me to come up with and promote "Straight Pride Month".

Because it only makes sense.


At 23/7/04 7:39 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

Eh, that sounds too much like work for something I really spend less time thinking about then I spend thinking about what would life be like if I hadn't taken that nap in my experiencing the arts class I took my junior year of high school. Gay, Straight... don't care.

At 23/7/04 11:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've gone on similar rants before, though I haven't suggested a whole month yet heh.

Basically my great annoyance does come from gays and whoever else (though it seems to mostly be gays) constantly having to tell everyone how fucking gay they are, and how proud they are to be gay.

And you know what, if you're gay, I'm cool with that, as long as you're not hitting on me. But the whole world doesn't wanna know what you do in the fucking bedroom.

I don't put stickers on my car and walk in parades and wear t-shirts and whatever else yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! I LIKE TO FUCK WOMEN! JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW!" and I'm pretty sure it would be considered tasteless, tactless, and borderline offensive if I were to do so.

So why do gays get away with doing just exactly that, only with their own sexual preferences?

I don't get it.


At 23/7/04 11:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh... and personally the worst offenders for me...
I honestly get a shiver down my spine every time I see somebody with a rainbow-striped bear decal on the back of their car or truck (and no, I'm *not* talking about the grateful dead bears).

That is just.... gross. Ewwwww.


At 23/7/04 11:57 AM, Blogger Contagion said...

Okay, I guess I don't know what the rainbow bears symbolize. then again the only symbols I know for gay pride and the rainbow and the pink triangle. And I could be wrong about the pink triangle.

At 23/7/04 5:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a double standard. For the same reason there can be Black Entertainment Television and the spanish channel without it being considered racist, gay's can flaunt their sexuality. If a straight woman is sexually outgoing, she's a slut, if a gay woman flauts it she's art.

At 23/7/04 9:47 PM, Blogger littlejoe said...

If a straight woman is sexually outgoing, she's a slut, if a gay woman flauts it she's art.

Actually, she's considered a liberated, free-thinking person. Someone who has broken the bonds of convention. (Why are conventional things considered bad anyway?)

At 23/7/04 10:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The bear symbol is guys that are into "bears"...
That is, gay guys that are into big, hairy men.

One of the things the internet taught me that I'd probably be better off not knowing.


At 24/7/04 8:17 AM, Blogger Boudicca said...

Dammit. I did not need to know about that bear thing. And now I can't exactly wash out my brain so it is frickin' stuck there forever. HUMPF!

I was trying to think of some logo for us...

I don't have a problem with homosexuality... I don't need it flaunted. I don't want to be in a restaurant watching a heterosexual couple make out; get a damn hotel room. Nor do I want to see a homosexual couple. What people do behind closed doors is their business, but that's why those doors are CLOSED. I don't understand this gay pride thing. I LOVE men. LOVE them. I cannot categorize the one type I love because I just flat out LOVE men. That said, other than just now, that is not something I shout from the rooftops, because... WHO... CARES? It is my private business on how I feel about stuff like that and I find it annoying that people feel the need to shout about their sexual preference. I don't get it. It is lost on me.

At 26/7/04 7:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Heh, it appears there are already a couple of places making "straight pride" stuff:

Straight Pride Wear, and Straight Pride USA.

Not sure what I think of PrideWear - although they have nicer designs (at least from a design standpoint), based on their web site they are vehemently anti-gay.

And I'm not anti-gay. I'm just anti-advertising-how-gay-you-are.


At 30/7/04 11:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

WTF.....I'm ok with gays,...whatever people do behind closed doors is ok....Well Im not ok with it being a faggot isn't normal or ok and I am personally tired of having it forced on us that it is.Wasn't to long ago that the shrinks called it a sexual deviancy...which it is.Lets just call it what it is and what it is ain't normal or ok.Whats next?Kids as a sexual preferance?

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