And the winner is.....

Contagion!

Thank you for your suggestion on tattoos, I got a tree of life tattoo yesterday. As soon as someone with a digital camera comes by, I will get a pic to upload.

On a serious note though, after I got finished getting my tat, I had this sick to my gut feeling. I was hurting emotionally, and when I got home there was an email from the source of my emotional pain. I figured out what was wrong, this is the first tat I have gotten without the prescence of my lovely ex-wife. I read the e-mail, nothing heavy, or anything, just asking me about a bill I have that someone keeps calling her about. I told her I would take care of it monday or tuesday....then I cried my eyes out for twenty minutes. I realized that I love her still, I don't want to be with her by any stretch of the imagination, that would be very unhealthy for me at this point, but I love her none-the-less. And knowing that she doesn't love me anymore kills a little piece of me everytime I realize it. I went so deeply into depression, that I felt like I did when I was suicidal, except I didn't want to hurt myself ( or anyone else). My heart hurts, yet I am at the same time happy. I am happy that I can feel emotions again. I can feel like anyone else, without blowing it into some life ending tragedy.

After my cry-baby fest, I drove (rode) to O'hare to pick up my baby sister flying in from Tacoma. I haven't seen her in ten years, and I have a TON of catching up to do. I just hope I don;t freak her out as she is somewhat introverted like her father, and I am quite the opposite.