12 thoughts for 2004

I wonder if anyone even reads this crap I post? At least when I post the funny, some of my loyal readers comment....lol I'll take that as a lesson to stop posting political rantings. (Not really, but it crossed my mind)

12. Life is sexually transmitted.

11. Good Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!

9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

8. Some people are like Slinkies.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

3. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR 2004: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO - What a ride!