A letter I can't send.

I am not much of a letter writer, but sometimes it's the only way to get across what I mean. I was all set to send this, and I just can't. I don't have the right to cause anymore pain in this woman's life. I put this up here on the off chance that one day she may stumble in and read this. I don't ask for much from my readers, but please, if you choose to comment on this post be respectful.




Dear (ex-wifes name),

I hope this finds you well. I am writing you, because I don't think calling is a good idea. So if you decide to respond, mail is best.

I am writing to ask about how Thor, and Jinx, and Corckscrew (the wondercat) are doing? I miss my boy, and the girls sometimes, and am just hoping they are all healthy, and happy.

I miss you too from time to time. I would have liked to have been this healthy while we were together. I know I shouldn't be contacting you because it hurts you to remember how things were, and all the dreams we had together. There are things I can't leave unsaid though, things that I need you to hear.

I need to thank you for a few things, some of them may sound sarcastic, but they aren't. First, thank you for being strong enough to let me go. You and I were not good for each other at the end, and I was really bitter and angry all the time. You were visibly unhappy, and a nervous wreck, living with me the way I was, I can see why. By finally letting me go, you have made it possible for me to figure out who and what I am. Second, without you, I would never have found AA, and I have to thank you for that. I have finally found out how to be honest, and my only real regret is not being that way with you. Third, thank you for taking care of me, even when you probably shouldn't have. Lord knows if our situations had been reversed, I don't think I could have been as strong as you. One last thing, thank you for all of the good memories you have made with me. I am a better person for having known you.

The last thing I need you to hear is really hard to say to you. I have said it to other people, and I mean it, but saying it to you is like letting that final shred of "us" go. I want you to be happy, and to find someone who can be everything you ever dreamed of. I know that I was not that man, as much as I wish I could've been. You deserve your prince charming, and so much more.

Please, if you choose to write back, only answer about the pets, the rest is just stuff I had to say before this.... Goodbye.

Love always,

Joe